Interviewers: Barbara H. and Emily S.
Producer/Director: John G.
May 16, 1990
Copyright 1990 Holocaust Oral History Project
San Francisco, California
I: Today is May 16, 1990, we're at the Holocaust Center of Northern
California, in San Francisco. My name is Barbara H. and I'm
interviewing Paul S. for the Holocaust Oral History
Project. Also helping with the interview today is Emily S..
Good morning Mr. S..
S: Good morning.
I: I'd like to start this morning by asking you to tell me, give me
some personal background, a little bit about where you were born,
the date of your birth, and your family.
S: QT: I was born in Vienna on April 12, 1933. My parents were Sara
S. and my father was Friedrich S.. My father was
Viennese born, in fact my whole family had been in Vienna since
the 1700's. So it's an old, old Austrian family. S.,
meaning black beard. And the rest of my family, I had a maternal
grandmother and paternal grandmother. My father had four sisters.
My mother one sister. That's the immediate family.
I: What did your father do for a living?
S: My father worked for an import/export company. In the German
records that I unearthed two years ago in the archives in
Brussels, all the documentation was there. They called him
"Beamte" which is office worker. Clerk with a capital C, I
suppose. That sort of thing. My mother was a "medisten" which
means that she had been schooled to design and make hats.
I: Did your mother work also?
S: No, not in Vienna.
I: Was your family well off?
S: I suppose we were well off. We had our own apartment and my
mother was home taking care of me. I suppose that would mean we
were well off. Good middle class family, I think.
I: Do you remember much about your Jewish upbringing you had in
Vienna?
S: Well, you know I left Vienna at the age of five. So my
recollections are mainly of family life and certainly of
Jewishness. But nothing formal.
I: Were you an observant one?
S: I remembered the Shabbat, yes.
I: Can you tell me a little about that?
S: No. That is very, very dim. I remember the candles and I
remember singing and I remember happiness, and being very much
aware of my Jewishness, somehow. But that's really in retrospect.
But I was too young for anything else, there was no Cheder or
anything like that.
I: Do you remember anything about the neighborhood you lived in,
was it a Jewish neighborhood?
S: It wasn't really essentially a Jewish neighborhood. We lived in
an apartment building, across the street from the local school,
public school. And my grandmother lived about two streets away,
perhaps three, and she had a tailor shop which she had taken over
from my grandfather when he died. So she ran the tailor shop and
it's interesting, because her married name is Schneider, which of
course means tailor, and that's a bit of humor. But that's how
names originated anyway. So I remember Jewish families, I remember
Jewish friends, but it wasn't a Jewish neighborhood like I ran
into afterwards.
I: What do you remember, you said you left at the age of five, what
do you remember about leaving Vienna?
S: Oh that's very clear. From that time on things are very, very clear. At times of relaxation and happiness, the first five years of my life are just a happy blur with certain outstanding experiences. I think a happy blur is a good way of describing it. But the documentary you were alluding to before, I stated that one day I looked out the window and the school flag, the Austrian flag that always flew over the school, had been replaced by what I now know as the Nazi flag. From that time one things went downhill. My father was kicked out of his job. I still have that letter, very polite letter, not stating anything other than political reasons. And the regret of the company to have to lose such a valued employee after so many years but that it was out of their hands. Protecting themselves and I don't blame them. Then our apartment which belonged to us was confiscated and given to someone else. Then neighbors and people that we had known all these years, including the kids I always played with, you know, were all wearing the swastika button in their lapels. We were told, sauer Jude, get out, get off the sidewalk. There was a lot of discussing going on in the house and I was really too young to comprehend that. Although I grew up overnight after that.
My parents decided to get out of Austria. We made our way to Cologne, Germany. I do not remember how but I'm certain it had to have been by train. It was the only way to travel, we never owned a car, so I know it had to have been by train. But I remember arriving at Cologne in the little hotel with nothing but Jews in it. From that time on my association was a very close one with other Jews. I wasn't in on the discussions, of course, I was five years old. I remember my father leaving and my mother saying that we would see him again in a few days. What had happened as I understood afterwards was that the guides that she hired for, to take them across the borders in this case into Belgium, didn't handle both men, women, and children. They fell into two categories; certain guides took men, certain guides took women and children. So my father was gone. This was in the winter time, and he had to go through a difficult route. And ours was supposed to be easier. A whole group of women and children, my mother and myself, and we left Cologne in the night. Across fields and so forth and we were caught. We were caught not by the Germans but by the Belgian gendarmerie. Their policy was simply to turn you back. So we did not run into any problems, other than being turned back. We were back in Cologne. I don't know how my mother managed it because I thought she'd spent everything we'd had on the first guide. But she was a very great woman. Somehow she managed to find another guide and another group and we'd try again. In the meantime I remember developing an ear infection. Bizarre the things you remember. And my mother pouring warm oil into my ear, to ease the pain. It works too.
We tried again and that little trip I remember distinctly. Because there was a woman with some very small children and my mother was carrying one or two of her babies and I at the age of five was walking in the snow. I had little boots on. And so I guess that's the night I stopped being a child because I was on my own. You know, I was helping somebody else. We were chased, and dogs and things I remember that, but we made it. We made it across the border. Once you made it the policy of the Belgian was, if you made it they allowed you to stay. If they didn't catch you in the act. It's very interesting, I think it was almost an official policy because I heard the same story from so many people. What they had organized in Belgium then were labor camps, not concentration camps, labor camps, for actual labor, felling trees I forgot what else. Things that needed to be done. Poor, small country. If a member of the family was willing to give of himself, then the rest of the family obtained a residence permit. So of course my father went to one of those labor camps. I have the vague recollection of six weeks. And paid with his body for a privilege of remaining in this free country.
No work permits were issued, of course. You were not allowed to work but you could not be at the public charge. I don't know what they expected people to do, thinking about it now, I never did then of course. But thinking about it now, how people are expected to survive unless they bring funds in with them. We were not among those, unfortunately. You have to have an apartment, you have to be off the streets. You registered with the police, it's very strictly controlled. You cannot be a vagrant. I remember some of the souvenirs of the time that really stand out. For instance, there's a law in Belgium, there was I don't know if there still is. If you take an apartment, curtains must go up immediately. Windows have to be covered in an occupied apartment. I remember my mother on the floor ironing what passed for curtains and putting them up. She found work, as I said she was a very great lady when it came to her family, extremely bright woman. She found work with a well to do Belgian Jewish family and worked for them as a housekeeper. Totally underground of course, and so we were able to subsist until my father returned.
And then after that too, because he was not allowed to work. And it
was, men are much more visible than woman somehow. I guess that's
the answer to your question.
I: Do you remember those times as being frightening times?
S: Oh no, not at all. Once we were in Belgium, and with my parents
being reunited, with both my parents. For awhile just my mother,
and having remet other members of the family. For instance, one of
my father's sisters had married. Her husband had had a very large
family in Vienna, an extremely large family, much, much larger
than us, several sisters married and so forth. That entire family
lived about a block away from where we lived. So I had a lot of
family to go to and spend a day with, even while mother was away
working. I remember that so distinctly. By then I turned six, I
was getting ready for school. I would qualify those times as happy
times.
I: How long did it take you to walk into Belgium?
S: You know, I only remember one night, but that's from the
perspective of a five year old. I remember that one night, the
snow, the dogs and so forth. Whether that's accurate or not I
cannot tell you, because my mother and I never talked about it.
I: Did you have luggage, belongings with you, anything familiar?
S: I know what I had. QT: I had a backpack. My grandmother, my
father's mother, had given that backpack as a present. Not at that
time, because by then she had died. But one or two years before
that. You know, Austrians are hikers and things like that. So a
backpack is a precious present to a child. And this was given to
me without ever knowing that it would be used to flee. I had that
little leather backpack for a long time. So I know I had that and
my mother must have had something else.
I: After your parents were reunited, do you remember, was food
available? Did you go on to go to school?
S: Yes, those were days, actually a year, where I spent most of my
time if not all of my time with my father. My father, of course
not being able to work or do anything, just took care of me. And
we became very very very close.
I: What was a typical day like?
S: Walking mother to work. It was only two or three blocks but it seemed farther. Going to the park, visiting our family, my father teaching me to write. I wrote a lot of letters to my aunts in Austria still, at that time. By writing I mean copying what my father had written out, but in my own hand. So when I finally went to school , I knew how to write. And basically to read.
I: You said you spent a year in Brussels.
S: No. I'm talking about, when I said that I spent time with my
father alone like that, because now I'm talking '39 to '40. In '40
is when I saw him for the last time. But I went to school in 1939.
I started school, which was again about a block away from where we
lived. And every morning my father would take me to the entrance,
to the courtyard. Then in the afternoon when I was let out, he
would be waiting for me. One of my teachers with whom I
corresponded for years, said he would never forget my father.
Because he saw him twice a day. I suppose in a sense that was
unusual. Because children were brought by women and picked up by
women, the men were away at work. Our situation was reversed. I
remember that so distinctly. So clearly.
I: Do you remember much about the school? Your first year in
school, was it difficult? Were most of the children Jewish?
I: There's nothing like a compliment from a teacher to help you do
better.
I: So you've had very positive experiences in school.
I: Thirty nine was the year the war began, Germany went to war with
Poland. Do you remember anything about that?
I: Did you also continue to have Shabbas dinners on Friday?
We survived on meager fare, nothing that ever affected me as such.
But looking back, it was.
I: Then in 1940 the war came to Belgium.
So they arrested my father for being an Austrian. It was a terrible
thing, they arrested about 10,000 men. Most of those men were Jews
who were fleeing from the Nazis and I think the government should
have done something about that and not just, en masse, arrest
anyone who had a Germanic background. Because they knew from our
registrations with the police, when we had come and why we had
come, I understand also that spies could have hidden under that
guise too. But they paid no attention to that. So this
was...really what it came down to was a mass arrest of Jews, of
Jewish men, by the police. I remember that it was not brutal or
forceful or anything, just a very matter of fact kind of thing.
They said, Friedrich S., please accompany us. There were
quite a few of them, I remember the white helmets, the Belgium
police had white helmets, and they were civilian police. There
were enough men there to make sure that they could take care of
him. He just walked away. Then my mother and I went to the police
station and were allowed to bring some clothing...you know, they
just took him as is. We had no idea what was going on. I certainly
didn't. But I don't think any of us knew what was going on. And
that was May 10, 1940, that's the last time I saw my father.
I: Did you see him at the police station?
I: Did he say anything to you and your mother at that time, give
you any instructions?
I: After all that time you had to form such a close relationship,
you must have been very shaken up when you saw your father taken
away by police. Do you remember?
I: Where did they take your father ultimately?
We wrote back for those two years and I think we were very hopeful that he would soon be coming home. Then we would just have to fend ourselves and there would be three of us trying to save our lives. The Germans pretty well lulled the population of Belgium into an almost false state of blissful ignorance. People were being taken away all the time, but they were supposedly going to labor camps, and since nobody came back to tell you differently, that's what people thought. They weren't quite willing to go but it was nowhere near the truth. And so, even though this was not a thing you wanted to do, you never thought of it as the end of anything. We were wearing the yellow star and we had our marching baggage always ready, because that was the word. You had to have your backpack ready so if they knocked on the door, you just went. That's it. And you were being sent East to go to work. No indication of anything, they were emptying whole buildings but you thought they were going to labor camps. That whole family of my, of my uncle's, that entire building across the way was emptied. And not one person in that building returned. I think it was four or five floors, including his entire family. I found out two years ago, everything happened at the archives of Belgium two years ago.
I just looked up...first of all, if I may jump ahead for a moment., I never knew that the archives really existed. But I always was under the impression that if archives exist with different countries, they deal with the inhabitants of that particular country. The Belgians handled that differently. They archived all the documents of anybody who was taken from their country. Which is an interesting way of doing it. And so when I got to those archives, when I would never have thought of looking for family, because none of us were Belgians, I was told, but they were taken from here so they have to be in the archives. So I looked up this part of the family and found all the little Gestapo files in one neat little bundle, because they all had the same name. All taken to Auschwitz, all gassed. You know? All of them. Except for one young cousin or something, he was taken to a hospital for experimentation. They were very proud of their recordkeeping.
But we were talking about the 10th of May and that time. My father was...finally, in 1942, Pierre Laval, the prime minister of the Vichy government. And I hope that if anybody rots in hell, this man does. I don't often say that. I remember parenthetically when I came to this country and became involved with academia and I heard about Laval University in Canada, I couldn't believe that any place of learning would have that name. But of course it's not the same Laval, it's not Pierre Laval at all, I'm happy to report. He simply took all those thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of Jews who were in those labor camps and gave them to the Germans. And so they had an enormous population, a ready made population for their concentration camps. They simply loaded them up.
My father threw his last letter out the window at the Gare de Lyons
in France saying, I'm on my way and I'll write as soon as I can.
And some good Samaritan forwarded it to my mother. It had the
address on it of course. But there was a very lucky thing, but
that's the last time we heard from him. After that it was
Auschwitz, and of course, he was finally was killed in Buchenwald
as I found out less than two months before the liberation of the
camp. So my poor father, Friedrich S., survived literally
five years of hell, to die just before the end. The documents that
I found two years ago in the archives are very explicit; he'd been
on a death march and his feet had frozen and sepsis had set in, so
essentially it was blood poisoning. Five thirty in the morning,
Sunday the 18th of February, 1945, is when his life ended at the
age of 42. It's incredible.
I: Until that time, they had had him working all those years in
labor camps. Did you know what they had him doing?
I: You haven't read the letters?
I: Where did you and your mother go after May 10?
Beginning of 1943, those two years 1941, 1942, as I said were years of pain and hardships and many people being deported, but you didn't really live with the thought of immediate death. Because I don't know if no one was aware of it, but I know that we weren't aware of the fact that people were being eliminated. I think, my mother didn't want to go back to Germany with me, but I believed that what she thought was that these were labor camps that we might be sent to, forced labor. And we lived in dread of that, but it wasn't the fear of immediate death. Except in the streets sometime, they would shoot people down.
I saw things like that happening and we feared the mass raffles.
The example I gave you, of the houses being emptied or the streets
being closed off and everybody who walked between the trucks would
just simply be put on the trucks. Well I saw it happen time and
time and time again, but neither my mother nor I ever were victims
of these. In the beginning of 1943 a man came to the house. That I
remember vividly. And he asked my mother whether she wanted to
save my life, because things are going from bad to worse. If she
did want to save my life, I would simply have to go away with him.
He said, he'd be back that afternoon or that evening for our
answer. So we went to see the E. family with whom we were so
friendly. And talked it over and they must have heard some things
too because they said, to my mother, let Paul go. This all sounds
so easy, so cut and dry, but it wasn't, you know. And they even
said that I could use their name, because I couldn't go away under
the name of S.S.. So that day I became Paul E., a good
Belgian. The man came back and my mother didn't have to get too
many clothes ready, because her little bundle was always ready as
I said. But she'd taken the stars off. She said yes to the man and
he took me by the hand and we walked away. He put me on a train
and he explained to me where I was going, my mother was not
allowed to know. He reminded me that I had given up my Jewish
identity, knowing that I was someone else now. I was ten years
old, not quite. But I understood, we understood, there were no
kids left, you know. And then he walked away and really, I never
saw that man again, I have no idea who he is. We've tried to find
out, you know trace, just an anonymous member of the Jewish
underground. I didn't know that either but I found out two years
ago that he was part of the Jewish underground. And that's how I
went into hiding.
I: It must have been very difficult for your mother to let you go
off with a complete stranger, who she didn't know...
I: And what was your thinking about your mother? Did this fit her?
I: After she let you go, she stayed in her apartment?
My mother said that many of these Germans addressed her in German.
They knew full well, she said, and they said, Ladige Frau. Which
is a respectful form of address. And she said they were not being
sarcastic. Explain that. She said, she lost a year's life every
time she saw one, especially when he spoke to her like that. But
they had other things on their mind when they came there, I guess,
maybe that's what saved her life. I don't know. I've always wanted
to explain that. When I still lived there I remember, bit of humor
perhaps. Her bedroom was next to our bedroom and the walls are
paper. At night, my mother would make me crawl into bed with her
and put her hands over my ears. Protect my innocence. I smile
today, I wasn't smiling at the time. Maybe I resented it, I don't
know. But those are the realities of life, you know? You're facing
death but you don't want your child to hear about sexual practices
next door.
I: Did your mother have any kind of contact with this woman?
I: Were any other people in that building taken away? Did you go
away with any other children?
I: Let's go back to the strange man who took you away.
This woman (Andrea E.), whom I spoke about earlier, and whom I met for the first time two years ago. She was a Belgian schoolteacher also, a very young schoolteacher _ not Jewish _ who saw people disappearing, day in and day out. You know, not showing up in classes and that's how she found out what was going on. And decided she needed to do something about it. So she joined the underground and started taking children to safe houses. She was very good at it, I found out, and she also had an out. She was a licensed schoolteacher, she had a reason for being on the street with kids. Some of these other people that had been stopped, you know, this is not your child what are you doing? It would have been very simple. She had a cover and she was very active in the underground. I saw her books, she wrote books, and I saw the pictures. She must have saved so many kids. An interesting aside, after the war, she married a Jew. (E.), an attorney, a practicing attorney in Brussels. They raised their children as Jews. She never converted in temple, but I bet she was a better Jewess than many Jewish born women. Wonderful lady.
And she's the one who told me that, hey Paul, quit wondering about the past. Go and find out for sure. Because I wondered how, why, why did they pick me? So she is the one who told me about the archives and I went to the archives with one thing in mind, to find the notebooks of the Jewish underground and see if I'm in them. I didn't know about anything else. I called the archives and the woman in charge of that particular aspect was on vacation. They said, come back, call again next week. I said, I'm from America and I'm leaving in two days. They said, no problem, come. So I went, this is not run by Jews, you know, the archives are run by the Ministry of Justice. I met this marvelous young civil employee, named (Clair B.) and she had gone...there were four notebooks that the Jewish underground was running, four notebooks. You needed all four notebooks to make any sense. And of course they were carried by different people. And sure enough, I'm part of history, believe it or not, there you are; number 896, Paul S.S., born April 12th, they left out the '33. Then you look in the second notebook and you look under 896, which was the code number, and it said, Paul E., my false name. And you needed both of those to make any sense. So simple and so clever. Then one with the address and another one with a number 611 and 611 was the little village of Hamoigne where I was in hiding. So those notebooks are incredible. How they kept track. I imagined they wanted this for after the war to find the kids in case the parents were no longer around. But I had no contact with anyone after that initial night when I was taken to the train station. There was absolutely no follow up to this. It's strange looking up a historical document of that magnitude and finding your name in there. It's really bizarre.
While I was there, looking at this and scratching my head and
wondering, that she said, oh by the way, would you like to see
your father's dossier. I said, well, how could I, he was not
Belgian? The entire German dossier for my father, from all the
concentration camps, arrived at such a time, left, died at five
thirty in the morning, and that's when everything else happened.
Strictly by accident. Most people don't know that these places
exist. QT: They deported 30,000 Jews out of Belgium. Those are the
archives that are there that were brought there after the
Nuremberg trials, they explained to me. But it's all there, floor
to ceiling for as far as the eye can see. Nothing wasted. Lives.
And the Gestapo files, the card files. On one side furniture.
People deported. People not deported. Totally. Blood curdling.
I: It seems amazing that the Nazis didn't destroy those documents.
There was so much destroyed in the camps.
I mean, who was my father after all? One human being, very important to me but not important to the world in that scheme of things. To have a file this thick on just him, what did they have on everybody else? That's what I'm saying. When you look at all that paperwork and you say, now wait a minute. Typewritten and very carefully manuscript. Not sloppy, you know, and each one with a printed tattoo number. They all had tattoos you know, they had stamps made with the tattoo, there were stamps on all those different papers so you know whom you were talking about. The logistics, the clerical force, must have outnumbered the army. So Ken S. made a documentary at KRON and said, the bureaucracy of death was just incredible. Made him weep. When he asked me how I felt. I said, if over the years if you ever thought of the word forgiveness, you come to a place like this, it disappears forever. Because everybody was involved. It did not happen by itself.
To go to the archives to look for your father is one thing, but to
find him by accident is another. I almost had a heart attack. Not
really, but it was just so overwhelming. I just went there to look
for the underground things. So after that I realized...there is a
monument to Jewish marchers in Brussels, one block away from the
school. It's seems that it's all where I lived. I've gone to it
many, many times and the name is, (Reinhor mactiere Jewish
debenchik), to the Jewish marchers of Belgium. Well to me, that
means Belgians. Right? The Jewish marchers of Belgium? No, again
you see, so when the S.S. that I found there misspelled,
S.S. F., at the time I said, I wonder who this was, may he
or she rest in peace. But it had to be my father. Now I know.
I: You were standing at the train station and they gave you the
destination. What was the destination?
I: Yes, please.
She took care of 125 children during the war. Among those 125 children, there were 83 Jews. That's a pretty good percentage, huh? It wasn't just a few among the others, I think the others were the few. Which is really interesting, at least in our particular little home. There were many of these throughout Belgium. This was just boys, they didn't mix them. This was just to facilitate the logistics of it. We were run _ did you see Au Revoir Les Enfants, the movie? _ we were run as scouts. We were Boy Scouts, we were Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts, depending upon our age, and this is how discipline was maintained among 125 young men. It was a fantastic idea, because you have morals, you have ethics, you have morale, you have things to do, you have discipline. It was fantastic. Thirty young people who are hired there as teachers. Many of whom were also hiding from the Germans. But they did not. The secrecy was such, unlike the film that I just mentioned, I thought I was the only Jewish kid. Every other Jewish kid there thought he was the only Jewish kid. Except the ones who were brothers, they knew there was another kid. That's it. I didn't know until two years ago, that's forty five years later give or take, that there were any brothers there. The Jewish kids didn't even let on that this other kid was their brother. And that's why we were saved, I think. The idea of getting up in the middle of the night and saying a prayer with a candle, you know is so far fetched, or leaving your real name inside your book. It may have happened but I think, I guess this is staying here, but that Louis Malle there overstepped the boundaries of plausibility in his film. Which you didn't see but if you see it you'll know what I'm talking about.
I lived there all that time under the name Paul E. and I
became a Cub Scout leader. I was baptized. I became an altar boy.
I became a very good Catholic, which I have stated, must have
meant being a good Jew. After all, who was Jesus? He was a good
Jew. Right, rabbi? I'm not trying to be blasphemous or anything
like that. We led a very straight life. And all these other kids
were good Catholics and so many of them were Jews. I was the only
one baptized. Marie (T.) took a liking to me. She wanted to be
sure, no matter what happened, that I would be saved and she
became my godmother and had me baptized. She had decided that if
anything happened to my mother that I would be her child after the
war. I didn't know that. That's what she said two years ago. She
didn't say it all these years either. Two years ago is a very
traumatic and important milestone in my life. These young
monitors, these young teachers, men and women, of course were much
older than we were, but certainly no more than ten years. So as I
meet them today, we are the same age, because those few years make
no difference, but at the time, they were the adults and we were
the kids. The youngest Jewish kid was five years old; so there
were little kids needing to be taken care of. I think the oldest
one was 14.
I: How long were you there and how did you fill your days?
We were only visited by the Germans once. One morning we woke up to sounds we weren't accustomed to. Looking out the window, the chateau was completely surrounded. Machine guns, everything, it seemed like the entire German army were there. It was probably a small platoon, but it seemed like the whole army was there. With dogs and everything. To this date, nobody knows why they came. They did not come for the kids, or none of us would be here. Whether someone had said, go look there or something. But one of the monitors, we only knew him as (Mutan), because everybody had animal names. The grown ups all had animal names, after Kipling, although Kipling didn't have anybody named (Mutan) which means sheep. (Mutan) was very involved, we found out, with the underground. He left his bed and climbed up on the roof. Of course the dogs got him down right away. So he was led away. We don't know whether they came looking for him or whether they took him because he tried to escape.
I remember as though it was yesterday because I got so scared, that I just wet my pants. We all were lying on little cots, side by side, a sea of little bodies. We had, they had made sacks, which they filled with straw and that's what we slept on. As you know, that doesn't contain very much so when I had my little accident I just dripped on the floor, the stone floor, and you could hear it like somebody was playing timpani. And two German soldiers had just come into the room and they heard it. They came right over to my bed and one of them bent down, he looked underneath and he got up and he started to really laugh quite uproariously. Of course I understood German, but you don't let on. He said, this kid just peed his pants. Maybe they were fathers or somebody thought it was so funny. They just laughed and walked away. If he'd thrown back those covers. Everybody would have been killed. Because only Jews were circumcised. Not like here.
Another time I remember, not coming to the chateau but I was in the
village. I saw German trucks in the village and I knew that my
teacher Paul who had been my godfather when I was baptized and
whom I loved dearly and still do, was at home. Because he had
married one of the other monitors. They both lived in a little
house in the village rather than at the chateau with the rest of
us. Somehow I just thought I had to warn him that the Germans were
there. And I had never ridden a bicycle before, but there was a
bike there and I rode that. The only time in my life I ever rode a
bicycle. I rode that bicycle to warn him. It turned out they
weren't looking for anybody, they were just going through the
village but I got there in time to tell him and he could have
gotten way if he had had to. I'd never ridden a bike, I haven't
ridden one before or since. I don't think I've talked about it
either. It's really bizarre.
I: Whose bicycle did you ride?
One morning, it was 1944, lot of explosions, lot of noise, and we all went outside. The Germans had posted two tanks behind the chateau, this being a children's home, good protection. But the Americans didn't know there was a children's home, so they shot back anyway. But it didn't really matter because we were out in the open, watching. My only experience being in a battle, with the bullets whistling by and the shells exploding. Even the teachers were so struck by what was going on that they forgot to tell us to take cover. And then the tanks left, I think one got shot up, no I think they both left. Then the allées, not the Allies the allées, the big avenues, came the jeeps. Now behind the chateau runs the river Semois and the Semois river is known for its wonderful fishing. I did some fishing there myself, with a stick and a bent needle or something. Why I'm telling you this is that, all the boys, we watched the Jeeps come in and we said, My God! Even the Americans know about the fishing, they brought their fishing poles. We had never seen antennas like that, you know, on the Jeeps. We thought that they came with their fishing poles. It may be a little silly but it made sense to us, you know? We said, the reputation of our river has gone even to America.
They came and there were German troops in the fields. The soldiers got out and they were just standing there, literally next to us, shooting back. There was a battle going on. It only lasted about half a day. What a wonderful day it was I remember, watching the soldiers walking on either side of the road. Which is the way they walk. In the middle, occasionally a German, with someone from the Resistance walking behind him, holding like a knife point or something. That was a great day. Especially for kids to watch that sort of thing. The Germans are getting it now. A little silly maybe, but that's wonderful, it's wonderful. Then going down to the American bivouacs and getting some of their rations. They also gave us, they would throw all these packages after they emptied them, those khaki packages, cans and packages, which was covered with a khaki wax which we then took and scraped off and made candles out of. That wax. We didn't miss anything. They were very good to us. We ate like he hadn't eaten before. Because these were K and stuff rations, the soldiers wrinkled their noses up to, but to us they were feasts. And then as they moved inland and Brussels was liberated and I found out that Brussels had been liberated, I spoke to Madame (T.), I was eleven years old, eleven and a half, and I said, I want to go home. I don't remember the conversation. She gave me permission and I left by myself . I hitchhiked, I don't remember much about the hitchhiking, but I got to Brussels, I got to my neighborhood, and I ran into my mother. On the street. That was a great day.
She told me years later that the enormous joy of seeing me, we
recognized each other and started running to each other. But she
told me years later, I think even here in the United States, that
the joy of the moment was somehow darkened or lessened. But she
never said anything about it. On my belt I was wearing a cross
about this big. Which one of the nuns had given to me. Which I was
very proud of that. She saw that on my belt and said, it gave her
heart quite a twist. But she was too intelligent to say anything.
Now we can wait for Papa's return, she said. It was a long wait.
I: You never went back to the home.
Forty four of us met two years ago, just Jews. That's really how I
found out about all of this. Up to that time I didn't know it. It
was organized by one of the kids who had been five years old at
the time. His story was interesting, one aspect of it, because he
was so young when he was brought there, he was lucky, that when
his father picked him up after, he didn't know who that man was.
But his parents survived, he was lucky.
I: Were you particularly close with any of the children?
I: There must have been some time in the children's home for you to
think about your mother and father, and perhaps about your Judaism
and the conflict?
I: Let me ask you another one. Did any of the boys notice that some
of the children were circumcised, that some of the children were
not circumcised?
I: Can you tell me now how your mother was when you found her? What
condition, was she still in the same apartment?
To give you an example of that, I can give you several. After the
liberation, the Germans started sending over the V1's and the V2s.
Those were the rocket bombs which were meant for England, but so
many of them fell on Belgium. They killed more of the civilian
population between the liberation and the end of the war than the
whole war. Those rockets. But we'd seen enough, we'd seen too
much. I remember my mother saying, when the sirens went off, the
air raid thing. And I'd crawl in bed with her and we'd cover our
faces so we wouldn't be blinded by glass. Killed, okay, but you
don't want to be blinded. But we didn't go to shelters anymore,
anything like that, forget it. We'd been through enough. If it
comes, it comes. That's how people felt. And the other thing was,
during the Battle of the Bulge when the Germans did the
counterattack and were killing everything in their path, you know
all the villages that had helped the Americans and everybody, man
woman child, was executed. People in the capital were saying, if
the Germans come back to Brussels, mass suicide. Nobody was going
to go through that again. That I shall never forget, because
people were serious. People were serious.
I: Did you and your mother actually discuss that?
I: How did you finally get word?
I: How had your mother survived the war? How had she lived her life
after you?
I: I was going to ask you, was there kind of racial laws in Belgium
during the occupation?
I: So you couldn't employ a Jew.
Someone said, I forget who, but someone said if you talk about the
people who saved you remind people that there are no heroes
without villains. So it goes without saying that you also condemn
the German people for what they have done. I brought up the idea
of forgiveness earlier. It's very clear in Jewish dogma and
theology, that you can only forgive a wrong that was done to you
directly. So I shall never forgive them for what they did to my
father. Because only he can do that. And for me, what they did to
me, I'm not that big a person, no I don't forgive.
I: Did your mother ever forgive the Germans?
I: When did you finally get permission to come to the United
States?
I: Nine miserable days I take it.
I: That's a creative solution.
I: What were your thoughts when you saw that giant outstretched
arm?
I: Chicken farmer by any chance?
I: This is where you went to school? And you got your high school
diploma?
I: How did you get back in touch with your Judaism, with your
Jewish roots, after the war? Or did you?
I: What happened to the cross on your belt?
I: What were some of his rules?
I: You went to high school and did you go to college here?
I: To study what subjects?
I: At the university?
I: It should be enough for everyone I think, to teach. Did you
marry?
I: It's not all sweet violin serenades.
I: I think there are many Jewish violinists. I think it's a proud
tradition among Jewish people.
I: And you live now in San Rafael. If you don't mind, when you went
back, how did it come the first time that you went back to
Belgium. Was it to look in the archives or did you make this trip
to go back and look at the archives and go to the reunion all at
the same time?
So when I saw that letter. In the letter I was told, there is a
reunion in the offing of all the Jewish boys who were hidden. I
said, what do you mean all the Jewish boys? All of me? But it had
a list of all the names. On one side the war names, on the other
side the real names. Two years ago when I realized that this was
not nearly so simple as I had thought. I went to the reunion.
Channel 4 heard about it and asked whether they could accompany
me, ostensibly to film the reunion. I didn't know they were
planning a documentary on my life. That is where all this
happened, when I met this (Andre E.) she said, no no no,
I'm sure that you were part of the underground plan. Go to the
archives. So one thing led to another. This is how it all
happened.
I: We've covered most of my questions except one tiny, minor little
question I just had. I was curious to know, who were the guides
that led people out from Germany into Belgium. Who were these
people who did that?
I: Was there any quota on the money you could take out of Germany?
Were you limited to ten marks?
I: Let me ask you; did you ever go to Buchenwald?
I: Will you go?
I: How do you feel, as long as we're on the subject of Germany,
there's been a lot of Germany in the news lately with
reunification. As a survivor, as someone who lost family and who
was in hiding during the war, are you concerned about the talk of
reunifying Germany?
I: So even though that most people who were involved in the war are
aging or dead at this point, you still can't feel comfortable with
it.
I: I want to go back to one other thing. The day your uncle, his
building was emptied out, do you recall the deportation, how
people in Brussels were actually rounded up?
I: And your uncle's building was cleared out that way? How many
relatives did you have living down the street?
I: Did you need any explanation at the time of what happened? You
were probably about seven.
I: You also had aunts and one grandparent left in Vienna.
I: And your mother had one sister.
Nineteen sixty nine is also the year that I met my wife so she knew
my mother that year. We married in December. Nine days later my
mother died. We were honeymooning as it was and the phone rang,
about five thirty in the morning, and the woman said, Mr.
S. Which I thought strange because here in America they
always say Paul, even if they don't know you. This is the nurse at
the hospital, your mother died last night. So they almost had
another case on their hand. And that Christmas, my aunts, the one
Rose who died, her daughter (Cassabra) who's married to an Israeli
and they had two beautiful Israeli children, they lived in Paris
because he was attached to the Israeli embassy. They went skiing
and they were all killed in a car accident. So the year where I
started my life over, I lost everybody else.
I: Did your mother ever talk about the war and about your father,
were you ever able to discuss those?
I: In her years on her own, did she talk about how she survived and
what it was like living in Belgium by herself during the
occupation?
I: Sometimes that's the mercy of being a child, because you don't
really know.
I: Is there anything you would like to add that we haven't touched
on?
I: Thank you very much for your time.
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